uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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