I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
