Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
