Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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