i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
