do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
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Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
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You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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