Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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