Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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