Define "chronic" masturbator.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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