I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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