whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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