so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
