I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
