So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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