At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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