Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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