This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize