Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
