guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
