Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
