i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize