k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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