Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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