Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Boobs are out for the taking
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
