i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
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Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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