How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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