Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
