I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
