The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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