i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
