why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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