maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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