Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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