You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
why is half of my head shaved?
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