i don't like sucking hair
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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