Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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