I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
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Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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