She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
