The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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