Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
