if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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