I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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