i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
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We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
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He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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