I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
