took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
