I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
