Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
