well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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