There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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