He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
ok first of all what the fuck
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
