Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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