You just made me feel so damn special
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
No I am not eating basil off your cock
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Im part way to drunk.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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