I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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