hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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