Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
