But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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