Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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