yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
