It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
