Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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