yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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