i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
